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Dear People:

To those of you who emailed or are just getting into The Seems – this is a friendly reminder that the best thing to do is start with “THE GLITCH IN SLEEP” – that’s Book 1 and has the blue cover! Then…once you’re more experienced, move on to Book 2… “THE SPLIT SECOND.” (The orange cover.)

For those of you who already read Book 2 first, well go back and read Book 1! For those of you who already know everything about The Seems and read the books in the right order, then you don’t even have to read this blog. But you already did, which is good, because now you know the same thing double.

If you’re looking for the password to the Fixer’s Lounge here’s a hint: it’s on page 272 of Book 1: “The Glitch in Sleep”!

If that doesn’t make everything clear, then maybe you should be reading Eragon.



Goin’ Down The Road Feeling Good

For any of you guys who are fans of the Grateful Dead (this old people band my Dad makes us listen to in the car), they had a song called “Goin’ Down The Road Feeling Bad.” It’s all about when they were driving around the USA, playing shows and being on tour. That can be very tiring.

But I wanted to share this with you. It’s from Michael & John (the authors) who are writing the book series about me. They were just in Vermont on a book tour and it sounded like they were goin’ down the road, feeling good! Check it out:

Dear Becker: Can you post this on your blog?

We are in Vermont and it is really cool. The leaves are changing left and right and the Department of Nature seems to be using lots of Occasional Orange this year! That’s one of our favorite colors. Too bad it’s not around in Summer, Spring, or Winter.

Anyway, just wanted to say hi to everyone we saw in Vermont! Hi guys!!! It was great coming to your school and meeting you all. You had awesome questions and we had a blast. We hope you did too. Pretty soon we’ll be back in Highland Park again, working on Book 3, “The Lost Train of Thought.” We’re also gonna be in Philadelphia for a couple days this week. To find out where, click on “Press & Events” on the home page! Hopefully we’ll see you guys all again soon, but in the meantime – stay cool (and warm) & keep checking the website if you need a Seems fix!

Catch u on The Flip Side,


The Split Second

First and foremost, let me apologize for subjecting you to the terror of tinytown, the gremlin of Grant Ave, nanook of the north side (of Highland Park,) ie…Benjamin Drane. We’re not sure what’s exactly wrong with him – there is no known medical diagnosis, but as you can see he suffers from a syndrome all his own. Imagine living with him!!

Anyway, I’m glad he had fun filling in on the Blog, and I hope you guys liked it too, but now it’s back to business.

The first order of which is “THE SPLIT SECOND” – my latest Mission in The Department of Time (and through people’s private Frozen Moments) is NOW on BOOKSTORE SHELVES!!!! If you like me or Benjamin or The Seems or cheeseburgers and fries or root beer floats, you should get “The Split Second” as soon as possible. (Note: Some people have expressed success in getting the book by locking themselves in their rooms and telling their parents they’re not coming out until The Seems: “The Split Second” is visible through the key-hole.)

If that doesn’t work, tell them you’ll settle for the new paperback version of “The Glitch in Sleep” with an all new cover. It’s cheaper.

I don’t want to say too much about the new Mission other than I am very happy to be home in one piece (and at the same age as when I started!) and I'm looking forward to coming back into your homes and hearts!

Live to Fix/Fix To Live


All Good Things Must Come To An End

I should have known it was too good to be true. Me having my own Blog to talk to the whole wide world. I should have known that my brother would get jealous that BenjaminBlog was the bomb and decide he wanted it back.

That happened last night at dinner.

My Mom says that it’s Becker’s Blog and I have to give it back, so I guess I have no choice…for now. I would like to say that in the time I had a blog, it was fun. It’s not easy being Benjamin in a world of lots of Becker’s, but my Blog gave me a purpose in life other than just my own problems at school and home and on Wii.

Even though BeckerBlog is not AS good as BenjaminBlog, please welcome my brother back next time. He’s not a bad guy, he’s just a teenager and everybody knows how that is.

I don’t want to get mushy so I better say good bye very soon. Good Bye. Oodgay Eyebay. Gobobd Byobe. C u Latr Alligatr. I hope someday I will return and BenjaminBlog can live again.

By Benjamin

The End.

Speaking In Tongue

Thanks to everyone who emailed me (I use Becker’s email because my email is top secret), about Pig Latin and Obenglobish. Most people in the world don’t use these languages except some kids, but if you know them, then you can talk to your friends and stuff and no one else will know what you’re saying.

Here’s how to do it:

How to Speak Obenglobish

1. Take the word you want to change into Obenglobish.
2. Add "ob" before every vowel.

1. Don't add "ob" to vowels you don't pronounce (i.e. bake, stare).
2. Pronounce the actual word the same way. For instance, control. You would say the vowels the same way, just add ob.
3. When you are saying "Obenglobish" ("I speak Obenglobish") in Obenglobish, don't make it Obobobenglobobobish, just keep it to Obenglobish.
Don't worry, it's hard at first, but you get better with practice.

How to Speak Pig Latin (I stole this all from the web)

This pseudo-language is widely known and used by English-speaking people, especially when they want to disguise something they are saying from non-Pig Latin speakers. It was first created in WWII when soldiers wanted to communicate to each other without eavesdropping Soviets understanding them.


Words that begin with a consonant

1 Transfer preceding consonant(s) from the word to at the end. Add "-ay" to the end of the word.

◦ Pig Latin = igPay atinLay
◦ Paint the fence white = aintPay ethay encefay itewhay
◦ Don't slump = on'tDay umpslay
◦ My dog = yMay (pronounced eye-may) ogday

Words that begin with a vowel and are one-syllabled

1 Add "-way" to the end of the word that start with a vowel, and leave the first letter in front.

◦ it = itway
◦ arm = armway
◦ egg = eggway


1 Multi-syllabic words that start with vowels often are the same as words that start with a consonant.

◦ isthmus = isthmusway
◦ ingenious - sngeniouiway
◦ archery = yrcheraway
◦ ending = endingay
◦ ultimate = ultimateway

2 Compound words work better when you split them into separate words.

◦ bedroom = edbay oomray
◦ toothbrush = oothtay ushbray
◦ wallpaper = allway aperpay
◦ bathtub = athbay ubtay
◦ hi = ihay
◦ i rock = iway ockray
◦ soccer = occersay

More Examples

• I am speaking Pig Latin! = Iway amway eakingspay igpay atinLay!
• Can anyone hear me? = Ancay anyoneway earhay emay?
• I have a secret = Iway avehay a-way ecretsay.
• The guy next to me has toilet paper stuck to his shoe = Ethay uygay extnay otay emay ashay oilettay aperpay uckstay otay ishay oeshay.
• Are these really all the rules? There may be some missing. = Areway esethay eallyray allway ethay ulesray? Erethay aymay ebay omesay issingmay.
• Has anybody seen my washboard? = Ashay anyay odbay eensay ymay ashway ordbay?
• hi people! whats up? = ihay eoplepay hatsway upway?
• I love you= Iway ovelay ouyay
• new england patriots rock = ewnay englanday atriotspay ockray
• Pig Latin is really easy to speak and understand once you get the hang of it!- igpay atinlay isay eallyray easyway ootay eakspay andway understanday onceway ouyay etgay hetay anghay ofway itway!
• You= ouyay
• Hello= ollehyay
• Yes=esyay

Sorry for how long that was. I just got out of control...


Amish People

Someone wanted to know about Amish people because I talked about that in my other blog and my blog is much more popular than Becker’s blog.

Amish people live where there are farms and don’t use electricity and dress different and use horses instead of cars. They also speak Pennsylvania Dutch which is a whole other language. I know three languages: English, Pig Latin and Obenglobish. When I get to high school I’ll have to learn another language, like French. Then I’ll know four languages. That will be cool.

Eesay uyay atrlay,

The end,

By Benjamin

P.S. Here’s some pictures of Amish folk



P.P.S. Sorry, I can't figure out how to make these bigger. But you get the idea...

My Family

My family is pretty cool. On a scale of 1 to 85, I give them a 74.6. That’s mostly because Becker beat me up and tried to put me in the clothes dryer in 2006.

My Mom is psychologist, which means she helps people. And my Dad is a Professor, which means he’s a professional Essor. I don’t know what an Essor is exactly, but I think it has something to do with Amish people. But I know my Dad works at Rutgers and teaches math to college people. He even worked for NASA once, helping them crack codes. But that’s confidential. I don’t have any sisters or younger people than me in my family, except my hamster, Chocolate. He’s only three, but in hamster years that’s 75, so I guess he’s the oldest person in my family, except for Great Grandpa Ferdie. He’s 92.

Anyway, I could tell you more – especially about the Drane’s of New England. They’re really weird and can’t say the letter “r” but that’s a story for another day.

The end,

By Benjamin


Happy new year to all my Jewish friends!

Even though it’s 2008 in the United States, it’s the year 5768 for the Jewish People. It’s the year of the Rat in China. And it’s the year of the Benjamin in Highland Park!

Highland Park (where I live in New Jersey) – it’s a very good place to live because we have the day off from school for lots of Jewish holidays. Usually I try to unwind a little from my busy life by playing video games or getting Mom to take me to Chuck e Cheese. This year, my brother Becker actually went to temple today with his friend Chud, just to see what it’s all about. Maybe he’ll be nicer to me afterwards.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who emailed and said they hope Becker never does any more blogs and Benjamin is the best.

The end,

By Benjamin

My Future

When I grow up I want to be a kid. Being a grown up is a lot of work. I watch how much work my parents have to do just to take care of me. And I am a pain in the tuchus. Tuchus is Yiddish for butt which is short for buttocks which is French for derrier which is what you sit on when you sit in a chair.

When I grow up I also want to be kid because grown ups have to go to work. Work sucks. When my Dad comes home his brain is fried like mine when I watch too much TV or play “Juvenile Delinquent.”

Also, it’s really hard to fit in the tubes in the jungle gym thing in Donaldson Park in my town if you’re a grown up. Grown ups can’t fit in anything good, so why would you want to grow up?

I guess there’s some good stuff. You get to go to R rated movies and stay up past 7:30pm. But I’m still not sure it’s worth it.

The end,

By Benjamin.

My Favorite TV show

My favorite TV show is when you flip around to a lot of TV shows all at once. That’s why I want to make a TV show which is just me flipping around to lots of TV shows. I call it “My Favorite TV Show.” It would have lots of pieces of TV shows like “Ice Road Truckers” and “Rachel Ray” and the one where they go fishing for crabs and people die. My Mom says that I shouldn’t watch TV and play so much video games because it will fry my brain, and that’s not healthy. Especially if you are on the low fried diet. In that case, you should only boil your brain. But don’t blame me if you boil your brain. I didn’t say you should.

Also, thanks to everybody who has been writing to me about the BenjaminBlog. It is way better than BeckerBlog which in the end started to have a lot of attitude – just like Becker.

Ever since he left his tweens and started his teens, he thinks he is like really cool.

The end,

By Benjamin