The Dranes of New England

I love the New England part of my family, but they are weird. They’ve lived in or around Boston since like 1800 and they have this house in Cape Cod where they all hang out. Every year, we (me, my Mom, Dad, and Benjamin) go up to The Cape for one week in the Summer. It is hell. First we have to drive up there which takes like 7 hours in the car. Benjamin snores and my Dad makes us listen to the worst books on tape (or CD) you have ever heard. He likes “Lake Wobegon Stories” by some weird guy and self-help tapes like Tony Robbins and Eckhart Tolle. (The funny thing is that none of them are even close to on the money, but that’s another story.)

Then when we get there, there are like 20 people in the house and they call come running out and hug you, but none of them can say the letter “r” so everyone is like “Beckeh,” “Beckeh,” it’s so good to see you. That’s when you know you’ve arrived.

Then for the next 6 days you hang out on the beach and build sand castles with your weird cousins, and then comes the sleeping part. There are way too many people in the house for the number of beds, so it’s every man and child for themselves. Last year, Benjamin put his pillow and blanket in the bathtub and uncle Morton turned on the shower on him in the morning. It was funny.

This year, we are going up again but I’ve already planned ahead and got new headphones and had Kevin at the IFR load some of the new “Mission Simulator” software onto my Blinker for the drive. It’s kind of like these new Seems videogames where you get to go on sample Missions and practice your Fixing skills, except you're kind of really there. Not as sweet as "Juvenile Delinquent 2: The Return of Quentin Flory," but pretty darn cool.

Well, I’d better get going. There’s a lot more to say about the Dranes of New England, but the truth is they’re not that bad. Even though we all get stuck in the same big house and you get sand in almost everything (including your toothpaste), it’s still kind of fun. There are always good stories at the end. Like the time Benjamin was attacked by sand crabs and the time my cousin Kaitlin boogie-boarded into a hole. Anyway, I will definitely give you all the highlights of this year’s trip.

And this time I’m bringing an Aero-Bed!