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All Apologies

To all the thousands of people who sent me email, etc…asking if everything was ok or if I was in the hospital or if I had been kidnapped by the Mother of All Glitches or if I was lost in the In-Between, thank you for your flowers and best wishes!!

Some of you may have noticed that it’s been awhile since I posted a Blog, but everything is actually okay. The truth was, I was away at the annual All-Fixer Retreat – a two week sabbatical in The Seems where we discuss new or current threats, get shown all the new Tools from the Toolshed, do team building exercises and just basically hang out.

It was really fun (except for the night when Greg The Journeyman drank too much Inspiration and started challenging everybody to arm-wrestling. Casey Lake beat him and I think it insulted his manhood because he went berserk and tried to knock down a pine tree with his hands. But that’s another story…)

So, I am back home now and getting a full update from my Me-2 about what I missed (I’ve banned Me from blogging ever since that whole New Kingdom YouTube video thing). Other than Benjamin being his usual self and eating a bag of marshmallows and getting sick, everything has been “status quo.”

P.S. To Billy F. from Pawtucket…no you can’t become me if I disappear and then take over my blog and make it about mostly about skateboarding.

Talk soon,


Mission Mix #8

This one served me well on my last Mission to Lost & Found. The Remote Gremlin and the Sock Goblin were crossing the line again, so to speak, and it was up to me to get them to return some of their ill-gotten booty. It was pretty standard stuff, which left me plent of time to take the Scenic Route through the In-Between...and #8 made for a nice soundtrack. Most of the tunes I downloaded after listening to them on Radio Paradise, but a few are local acts which I hope you'll enjoy.

Listen and try to imagine what it would be like to shoot like a cannonball between two different worlds...


1. Family and Friends by The Roadside Graves
2. I Feel It All by Feist
3. White Daisy Passing by Rocky Votolato
4. Keep You Happy by Tift Merritt
5. Cheap Thrills (100% Proof Mix) by New Kingdom (Parental Guidance suggested)
6. Imitosis by Andrew Bird
7. House of Cards by Radiohead
8. Society by Eddie Vedder
9. Getaway by Stereophonics
10. This really cool track by a great British Band called Orange Can which I don't know the name of, but if you contact me via, I'll email to you.
11. Old Man by Grand National (a cover of the old Neil Young tune)
12. Empty by Ray LaMontagne
13. Frozen Love by Buckingham Nicks (pre-Fleetwood Mac)
14. Beside The Point by Michael Wexler

More-al Dilemma

Thanks to everyone who responded to my Moral Dilemma blog about whether to contact a certain someone in The World. Even though being a Fixer probably IS "The Best Job in The World," it still gets a little lonely sometimes and that's what was making me think to check in. That and also because this someone was really cool to hang out with on that night we met in the Dream.

Of everyone who responded: I got 35 "Break The Golden Rule" votes, 104 "No Way, Dude. It's Not Worth It." votes and 3 votes that made no sense and were probably written by someone's little sister when they left the computer on. Like "I want a cookie," and “Mommy plays Candyland with Uncle Andy.”

Anyway, I still haven't quite decided what to do. I wish I could manage a little friendly check-in and not get caught but if convicted by the Court of Public Opinion I could lose my Badge AND get sentenced to time in Seemsberia. For those of you who read the weather forecast for Seemsberia in my other blog – you can imagine that it might no be such a fun place to hang out. Although, the Inner Child and some of the other therapists stationed there are doing amazing work. The rumor around The Seems is that Justin and Nick F. Time (The Time Bandits) have been rehabilitated and found The Plan! But who knows…maybe I can find someone in The Know who can help me out.

Ok. Ok. Sorry – my Mom is yelling at me to come down for dinner. I hope it’s Highland Pizza.

Writer’s Strike Averted on Both Sides!

Reprinted w/permission of The Daily Plan

SP – World/Seems, 00:2:15.
by David Brendelfly

A potentially World-threatening writer’s strike has been averted on both sides of the In-Between, sources close to the WGAE, WGAW, & WGAS confirm.

The nearly four-month old walk-out was averted after 11th hour negotiations in Sector 103 and 71, finally yielded a compromise solution. Writers in The World had stopped creating content because of a dispute over new media compensation. Seemsian writers, it was rumored, were contemplating a similar action as a show of solidarity with their Worldly brethren and sistren.

Stanley Grammor of the WGAS: “We are extremely pleased that Scribes and Wordsmiths on the other side are finally getting a fair shake. If Seemsian pens had been put down, the flow of Creative Juices to The World could have been jeopardized, and from there we can only speculate…”

Eve Hightower, Second-In-Command of The Powers That Be issued this release: “The Big Building and all who work here rely on our Pencil Pushers and Idea Men and Women on a daily basis. We are very pleased to see that operations on both sides can continue as Planned.”

The often fractious work stoppage had effectively shut down the business of entertainment and left citizens of the World in what some have referred to as “reality show hell.” Regina Smoot, from Newark NJ remarked: “I’m just glad to be able to watch Lost again instead of re-runs of The Biggest Loser and L.A. Ink.”

Writers in The World returned to work this week and are said to be making up for lost Time. It is unclear how future projects will be affected.

Cheaters Never Prosper, Redux

As a huge fan of the Rutgers Women's basketball team, I want to remind the Tennessee Volunteers and their fans of one thing...


P.S. The Jinx Gnomes are coming for you...and not even a cheating clock (or clock operator) will be able to save you then...

Writer's Guild Strike Could Affect The Seems

Reprinted w/permission of The Daily Plan

SP – World/Seems, 00:24:12.
by David Brendelfly

The ongoing writer’s strike in The World, could affect operations in The Seems, sources close to the walk-out report. In a show of solidarity, inkers in The Seems – responsible for mythmaking, Big Ideas, Twists of Fate, and in some cases assisting Case Workers with intricate Chains of Events – are considering a walkout if talks in The World do not reach conclusion soon.

Head of the Writer’s Guild of The Seems (WGAS) Stanley Grammor was quoted as saying, “Writers are a close knit family, on both sides of the In-Between, and perform the critical task of bringing entertainment and understanding to The World.” Grammor went on to say that the extraordinary step of cutting off the flow of Creative Juices was under consideration, but stopped short of saying whether this drastic measure would be taken.

Since the October 31 strike, World based writers have been deadlocked with Hollywood studios over a number of thorny issues – a plight not dissimilar to Seemsian writers who have often held that Shakespeare, Faulkner, Rowling, and others were the beneficiaries of plots originating in The Seems. Should Big Building writers put down their pens, the very unfolding of the Plan could be affected and inexperienced fill-ins summoned to fill the void.

Pencil Pusher Jonas Patty explained, “World based writers are entitled to a living wage, just like writers in The Seems.” Wordsmith Bob Brenes also chimed in: “People don’t understand the plight of the writer. It’s not just following the Letter of The Law, it’s mining the Collective Unconscious on a day in day out basis. This is very dangerous work.”

When asked for comment on a labor dispute which seems to be seeping through the Fabric of Reality, The Powers That Be released this statement:

“All employees of The Seems are equally valued and contribute to the ongoing prosperity of The World. We are aware of the issue and Case Workers intend to resolve the dispute via all means at their disposal.”

The Super Bowl/A message to the New England Dranes...

As I said some months ago in this blog, and over the phone to my cousin Michael in Rhode Island after the Patriots beat the Giants in the last week of the season, there is one thing that I know for sure after having checked with the Department of Justice in The Seems...

CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only thing better than watching the Giants take down the Pats will be when the U.S. Congress exposes Belicheck for the crook he always was and Spygate puts a black eye on all the previous Super Bowls they've won before...go Arlen Specter, and go Eli!

P.S. The only bummer about yesterday was that after the game was over, and all my Giant fan buddies like Bloom and Melvin Sharp were practically in tears, it hit me that as good as I felt, I really have as a Jet fan is my hate.

P.P.S. Have to admit, it feels good to hate the Pats, though...

P.P.P.S. Especially when they're 18-1.

Early Retirement?

I really like my current job, but I just got my benefits package in the mail from The Seems and I couldn’t help notice the Early Retirement program. Depending on what job you have, after a certain number of years all employees of The Seems are available for a “Golden Parachute.”

A Golden Parachute is like a whole package of benefits that you get when you retire. Included are a rent-controlled apartment in Alphabet City or Who Knows Where (towns in The Seems) as well as Seemsian Security – a monthly check to help buy food and clothes.

For easier jobs like assistant Snooze Chef or Reality Checker, it takes like twenty years before you’re eligible for your GP. But for some of the very high-pressure positions like Case Worker and Fixer you can become eligible in ten years. So, I did the math, and I’m 13 now, which means at twenty-three I could be eligible for early retirement.

I guess I’ll have to see what’s going on in the World at that time. If they really need me, of course I’ll stay on, but if not – it might be cool to take my package. I could hang out in The Seems, meet new people, and go to Awesomeville every weekend.

I have to keep reading this pamphlet because I’m sure there’s some fine print and I’m also concerned about my Health Benefits. I know that any employee of The Seems can walk in to the Department of Health and get treatment no questions asked, which is a good thing. Lately, my tooth has been killing me and the prices at Park Dental in Highland Park are really brutal, so maybe I’ll save my parents some money.

Anyway, if one day I disappear and there are no more blogs – well, either I’m in A Better Place or I took early retirement!

Catch u on the flip side,



Awesome movie, loved it, but how come Juno reminded me more of Pandora, this super-cool spoken word poet/artist/musician who hangs out at the Chapter One coffeeshops, than any of the sixteen-year old girls who baby-sit the Drane brothers? (I'm only twelve, so I'm not embarrassed to admit to the fact that yes, I still have babysitters. Yet.)

I'm just sayin'...

P.S. Check out Pandora at...

Weather in Seemsberia

I was watching SNN Weather and saw this. I have to admit, I feel bad for The Glitch I snagged in Sleep, but you know what they say… “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time!”

5-Day Forecast for Seemsberia

Sunday -- -5° F | -16° F

Monday -- -2° F | -16° F

Tuesday -- 1° F | -11° F

Wednesday -- 6° F | -16° F

Thursday -- 0° F | -13° F